There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
