Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
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