i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
