Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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