allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
are you so shy because you have an std?
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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