he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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