When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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