I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
