Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
