I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Randomize
