doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
