life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
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