you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I just sucked dick on a ferry
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
