He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
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