You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
