it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
She's the barista slut.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Randomize
