you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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