yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
It's blow job season.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
