party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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