Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
