You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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