Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
