i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
I think I am morally bankrupt
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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