it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
