Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
