Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
that is very illegal...i love you.
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