everyone is single if you try hard enough
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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