So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
