i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
