I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
