My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
