He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
