I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
