I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Randomize
