If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
