Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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