a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
