Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
