I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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