I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
