I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
