I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
