Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
