He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
