Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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