let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
