So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
