He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Randomize
