Your mouth is God's brothel.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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