dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
