So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
